‘LoveYourLife’ Coach, Yoga Teacher
and Retreat Facilitator

The 5 ways to kill or cultivate Romance

Why is Romance SO SEXY? Because having the skill to cultivate it means that after the ‘honeymoon’ phase is over you know how to keep the connection Sparkly and Passionate.

Most of us want Romance. I will venture to say the Majority… Though of course Romance means something different for each person so let me define: Open-hearted connected passionate experience where you feel unconditionally loved and adored.

  • A freeing feeling that everything is perfect.
  • Connection to what is True with a Deep Eternal perspective
  • Relief from little everyday drama/stress/worries
  • Courage and fearlessness
  • Deep relaxation and Passion
  • Excitement and Mystery
  • The capacity for time to stop still, for a moment to become your whole world
  • To be so incredible present with senses alert and heart open
  • Feel truly seen and understood – unconditionally

How you create that feeling/deep connected experience will be very unique for each person/couple – that’s where the beauty of exploration and discovery comes in. When I realized I wanted more ‘romance’ but wasn’t sure what was authentically romantic for me, I watched 8 romantic movies in a week and was in an intense self-exploration of what was real for me regarding romantic situations/experiences/gestures. As I redefined it I was able to appreciate all the ways my partner was already being romantic – rather than focus on the prior defined actions I was looking for to meet this false definition.

Though getting there is unique – there are some foundational relationship choices/skills that universally affect people’s romantic inclinations. They are all based on one underlying principle: BE ON THE SAME TEAM AND OWN YOUR STUFF.

Five Effective ways to ‘kill’ romance:

  • Complain that the person isn’t being romantic
  • Be critical often, especially of things that relate to their manhood/womanhood (what their definition is)
  • Assume/project the worst before you have the complete information
  • Treat other women/men better than you treat them
  • Take things personally all the time



Unfortunately many of these tactics are deeply programmed in our mass collective consciousness – And fortunately – YOU are more powerful than that. Through conscious choice and practice you can cultivate true romance through your actions, words, and open-hearted energetics.




Five Effective Ways to Cultivate Romance:

  • Focus on what you adore, find beautiful, and appreciate about the other person – Feel it fully
  • Take responsibility for your emotional states and projections – do your best to assume the ‘best’
  • Clearly state your needs and communicate how much you care about the other person’s needs
  • Embody Self-Trust, Confidence and Self-Adoration
  • Be on the same team and trust both are always doing their best

When you’re communicating your desires to spend time together – be clear that’s what you want.


A: “I really want to have dinner with you tonight” – the person could then invite other friends, take you to a random crowded noisy place, etc.

B: “I would love to spend some quality one-on-one time with you, what feels fun and adventurous and spontaneous (or whatever you’re wanting” – Result…they know what you’re really wanting!

Focus on how You can show up in new levels of self-love, confidence, self-care, and mastery rather than how the other person is or isn’t showing up. What’s Sexy? Confidence, Self-Trust, Independence, Passion, Honesty, Aliveness, Courage, Authenticity,.. What Else? You Tell Me.

(The 6th I would like to mention and explain in another blog is: Take care of your little boy/little girl within so You Feel Safe Being You.)


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