Most of us want Romance. I will venture to say the Majority… Though of course Romance means something different for each person so let me define: Open-hearted connected passionate experience where you feel unconditionally loved and adored.
How you create that feeling/deep connected experience will be very unique for each person/couple – that’s where the beauty of exploration and discovery comes in. When I realized I wanted more ‘romance’ but wasn’t sure what was authentically romantic for me, I watched 8 romantic movies in a week and was in an intense self-exploration of what was real for me regarding romantic situations/experiences/gestures. As I redefined it I was able to appreciate all the ways my partner was already being romantic – rather than focus on the prior defined actions I was looking for to meet this false definition.
Though getting there is unique – there are some foundational relationship choices/skills that universally affect people’s romantic inclinations. They are all based on one underlying principle: BE ON THE SAME TEAM AND OWN YOUR STUFF.
Five Effective ways to ‘kill’ romance:
Unfortunately many of these tactics are deeply programmed in our mass collective consciousness – And fortunately – YOU are more powerful than that. Through conscious choice and practice you can cultivate true romance through your actions, words, and open-hearted energetics.
Five Effective Ways to Cultivate Romance:
When you’re communicating your desires to spend time together – be clear that’s what you want.
A: “I really want to have dinner with you tonight” – the person could then invite other friends, take you to a random crowded noisy place, etc.
B: “I would love to spend some quality one-on-one time with you, what feels fun and adventurous and spontaneous (or whatever you’re wanting” – Result…they know what you’re really wanting!
Focus on how You can show up in new levels of self-love, confidence, self-care, and mastery rather than how the other person is or isn’t showing up. What’s Sexy? Confidence, Self-Trust, Independence, Passion, Honesty, Aliveness, Courage, Authenticity,.. What Else? You Tell Me.
(The 6th I would like to mention and explain in another blog is: Take care of your little boy/little girl within so You Feel Safe Being You.)