‘LoveYourLife’ Coach, Yoga Teacher
and Retreat Facilitator

Do You Deserve It? A Dangerous decision-making trap

I often hear clients and friends use the phrase “I deserve this.”

I have used it myself and sometimes find myself saying “You deserve this” to a client – in particular when I’m sharing about an upcoming retreat, speaking their language.

It’s a powerful story/thought to use and can boost your energy, it feels good to speak it, claim it. And your level of belief in it shows you where you’re really at in claiming your own worth. 

However, it’s a  Dangerous decision-making trap to use, especially when choosing whether to go to a retreat, workshop, take a program, book a session, go to the spa, spend time in nature, take a few days off, buy a treat etc.

It is arbitrary – solely based on how you are feeling about yourself in that moment….and everyone will use the tool in vastly different ways to justify a whole variety of decisions – Often to say NO to something that may change their life, that meets their edge – scares them a bit.

Saying NO in that paradigm comes from thinking that you Shouldn’t Need it, because needing it means you didn’t try hard enough, aren’t good enough, etc. 

There’s some part of you that determines whether you’ve been Good/Right enough in your past actions to “Deserve the Reward.” And that part of you is informed by your momentary Self-Perception. 

EmmaJuniperVirginIslandsfun“Deserving something” comes from operating in the right/wrong, reward/punishment paradigm….. Because you did X,Y,Z then you Deserve A, B, C.

The paradigm of: your perception of what you did in the past determines how well you set-up your future.

I invite you to take a deep breath and consciously dissolve for a moment the right/wrong, reward/punishment…..and meet me in the field of heart resonance, alignment, soul calling, smart decisions based on setting yourself up for future radical success….Trust.

There is a whole world beyond Right/Wrong….Where you can make decisions based on your visions, the life you desire to create, who you are choosing to become, your intuition, what feels resonant/alignedand what is Wise.

Yes, in the Right/Wrong paradigm you DO DESERVE, for example, an upcoming retreat or mastermind. 

Because of who you are, how hard you’ve worked, how deeply you’ve loved, how courageously you’ve faced your fears, how devoted you are – However, you may not always feel that’s the case, you might not always See how AWESOME you are. 

If you are in self-judgment at all, you won’t think you “deserve” it and will thus block yourself from receiving the forward moving results that going to the retreat or program, time in nature, reading that book, etc would give you.

If you tend to make decisions informed by this “deservedness” factor – I invite you to instead ask yourself: Will this set me up for the kind of success I desire? 

It’s Just Plain Smart to invest in your future (if it’s the right fit). Continuing on the Retreat Example:

  •  It’s smart to surround yourself with luxury, epic nature, views, experience that raises your vibration, your joy, your happiness, your confidence and magnetism. 

  • Smart to surround yourself with entrepreneurs on the same path as you to create powerful allies for business partnerships.

  • Smart to take a rejuvenation break to ensure your big decisions are aligned with your purpose/goals.

  • Smart to say YES to an environment where epic business ideas are birthed.

  • Smart to learn cutting edge success habits that will triple your productivity and bring joy, magic, and passion to you!

Whether you did “Right” things in the past is irrelevant to whether the opportunity you have will set you up for future success. 

As I write this, I’m in the Dominican Republic, almost 2 weeks so far and another couple weeks to go (I LOVE the weather, the turquoise waters, the culture)

I’m not here because I did something to deserve it, but because it was intuitively clear to do so and this environment inspires and nourishes me to be at my best and take consistent inspired action towards bigger service Plus more impeccable business operations.

And because it’s living aligned with my values, who I’m choosing to become.

Make your decisions SMART – based on the life you desire to create not your perceptions of whether you Deserve it because you did something in the past….